Menacing Magic
by Lestats Cherie
Summary: A novelette about a young witch who is close friends with Harry, Ron and Hermione. After the death of Sirius, she takes it upon herself to hunt down a way to bring him back to the world of the living. In wanting to help Harry overcome his extended grieving process, she takes on a task too dangerous for a young witch.


My mind replayed haunting images of him falling beyond the veil as the sound of his godsons cries echoed against my skull once more. That day had been dreadfully painful for us all; and yet I could not help but feel a sense of sadness greater than that of the emotions tearing through others who had grown to admire Sirius Black.

He had been a rock for his godson ever since he escaped Azkaban prison and informed him of the false accusation. Now, he was no longer around. Although but a month or two had passed since his death, the burden of living life without the infamous Padfoot was proving a difficult task for all. Those who had known him for a lifetime were distraught still, finding even the simplest of daily tasks difficult to comprehend. I was one of those people. My body yearned to be held in his loving embrace; an embrace he enveloped all of his godson's friends within often. Over the years I had grown jealous, silently wishing his arms would one day encircle my body and flee far from others. His passing had caused a rift between many; but myself, Hermione, Ron and Harry had merged closer than ever in the hope of pulling through. Harder times were ahead we believed.

"Guys, it's about time I made my way to bed. I will see you all in the morning" I spoke, standing from my spot on the sofa and trudging up the staircase.

On my way up the stairs I heard the faint mumble of everyone saying goodnight; smiling at the sound. The bedroom door closed behind me without even being touched and I merely shrugged in response. I was not in any kind of mood to play games with the noble and most ancient House Of Black. Sighing heavily as I walked further into the room, my thoughts drifted once more to the man who was once its owner. Given his untimely death and a dire need for changes to be made to his childhood home, each of us had been given the job of decorating. I had been directed into his old bedroom, unfortunately.

Though it was not the best place for any one of us to reside for the time being, I had to admit being so close to what was once a huge part of him was comforting. Knowing he had slept in this bed for many years of his life, and even sporadically during his role at the Order Of The Phoenix; brought a great sense of happiness to my saddened eyes. Pain washed over my face momentarily as my fingers traced the soft cotton sheets. I sunk down onto the mattress and wished he would return to make us all giggle at his witty humour; but I knew it was impossible. He was gone, for good, unable to return. I sobbed quietly to myself and shook like a leaf as I lay back against the pillows. His scent filled my nose and I inhaled deeply, taking it all in as though it were a rare brand of cologne. Of course, the smell of Sirius had always been inviting, in more ways than one.

As I lay back on the mattress and allowed my mind to take a journey back in time yet again, it landed on another precious memory of Sirius. This memory however was personal to me and only me. It spoke loudly of my feelings toward him, and being the young adult I now was, it could very well have fallen into place perfectly for me. Had his evil hearted cousin not murdered him, he would know how I truly felt about him. Though I had tried countless times to confess, the look in his eyes during those moments of weakness held me back. They were so very captivating; capturing me in a trance. I always fought to avoid giving in to temptation and with my strong mind set, it worked without fail. But, over the years and as I grew that much older, I realised my like for him had been something much more advanced. Turning to Hermione a few times with my sob story about falling in love with someone who could never return my feelings had been effective, up until she asked with whom I had fallen so hard for. Even then, although she sprouted her distaste accordingly, she remained incredibly understanding of my situation and vowed till the end of time to be there for me if ever I needed advice or a shoulder to lean on in times of need. Now would have been appropriate; right at this moment.

I made her promise me quite a long time ago that she could not speak a word of my secret to the boys. Ron knowing would be awkward, but Harry with the knowledge that one of his best friends had fallen in love with his godfather would have caused an uproar; or so I always believed. I had tried to imagine the entire scene playing in my mind and what I would do upon hearing such news, and it wasn't a pretty sight. If he ever did find out, for whatever reason it may be, surely he would understand a hearts true desires.

My thoughtful mind had whisked me away into a deep slumber as I lay curled up on his bed, awaiting the dreaded morning. In my sleep I often had pleasant dreams, nothing out of the ordinary; only tonight there was something very wrong. I dreamt of Sirius' return to Grimmauld Place, only he seemed incredibly out of sorts and highly deluded. His hand had reached out and wrapped itself around my neck when I woke with a start. Nothing but fear coursed through my body as I shook violently on the now crumpled up sheets. I did not know what had happened, but realising it had been a dream and nothing more appeared to calm me a little. With a glance over at the clock on the nightstand, I took note of the time and groaned aloud. I had not woken up so early in a long time; and I hoped it would be the last. Sleep was the one thing I needed most of lately, especially with all that was occurring at Hogwarts after the battle of the Department Of Mysteries. More unwelcome thoughts seeped into my head and I banished them quickly. I wanted to sleep again, but my body tensed at the thought of falling into another wicked dream.

Although my attempts at straining my eyes to stay awake were more often than not successful, their heavy burden of dealing with restless nights won over. Before I could complain and force myself to remain alert, my head fell back on the pillow and I was out like the lights on a christmas tree after a power outage. The rest of the night was uneventful; my imaginary world once activated had been delayed for a few hours of peace.

"Lottie, time to wake up and get things moving dear" called Molly through a gap in the bedroom door.

"Alright, I will be up and ready in a moment" I replied, though still half asleep.

I had made a poor effort to lift my tired and weakened body from the comfort of the bed when it instantly collapsed in defeat. It took only moments for slumber to consume me once more, but I didn't care one little bit. As I fell deeper and deeper into my own world, the sound of a man's voice entered my ears. At first I shook it off, not wanting to deal with the possibility that I may very well be going crazy. But, just when I thought it was safe to fall asleep again, the voice called out my name, rather loudly at that.

_Little Lottie…_ the voice spoke, loudly at first. Until it appeared faint, though I still heard it's whisper close against my ear, clear as day. It continued to repeat my name and under the phrase I was familiar with. Only one person called me Little Lottie with such affection and adoration, and that was Sirius.

My heart jumped up into my throat and I almost choked, though it had not literally done so and merely shocked me thinking it had. In reality, waking from my dazed state and realising that I had not been hearing things, my head spun madly. I spent a moment or two weighing up what I had heard and just how clearly I had heard it. It would not have been possible to simply imagine such a thing, though given the sadness that had been creeping over me for weeks, it wouldn't come as a surprise to anyone who knew me. I imagined that Harry understood the feeling all too well himself. Debating whether or not I should actually tell him of what just happened; I decided it best to leave things unsaid. I did not wish to anger or hurt him further. He needed the strength of his friends now more than ever before and I was not one to let down a friend in need.

I rose with caution from my laying position and listened intently for the voice once again, but it did not return. I felt a wave of disappointment rush over me as I stood to walk out of the room, wishing that somewhere within its walls there was a Black we all loved and missed terribly. As I opened the door to leave, a warm breeze blew against the back of my neck and startled me to no end. I stumbled but quickly regained my composure when I noticed Molly walking down the hall toward me, probably wondering what had taken so long. I shook off what had felt like someone's breath and greeted her happily. She spent a minute or so telling me exactly of my role during the next few days and asked that I make sure the place is absolutely spotless by the end of the week.

I relished over the idea of clearing out the clutter that resembled mountains in Sirius' room and displayed a grin that reached my eyes. Molly noticed and asked why such a task was so delightful to my ears, but I did nothing but shrug and headed on down the stairs for breakfast; leaving a bewildered Molly to ponder a while and scamper off to her own duties. I was thankful I had escaped her curious eyes; and it certainly had not been the first time either. She was indeed a woman of great abilities and being a know it all was one of them. At times I found it quite useful to have someone around who knew things I did not, and probably never would, but other times it proved quite troublesome in the essence of evading scrutiny when she could see right through into your very soul. It was both good and evil.

After I had eaten breakfast and sipped lightly at a glass of cool cranberry juice, I headed on back up the stairs to get started on clearing the mess. Before my eyes lay books, old wands, empty fire whiskey bottles and vials that contained strange coloured liquids. Out of interest and being intrigued by almost everything, I decided to test them to decipher exactly what they may be. I spent a good half hour pouring small drops of each vial onto the palm of my hand and held my breath until I realised none of them were toxic. They appeared to be nothing more than antidotes for healing small wounds or discoloured skin. I took note of each vial and stuck a small label on each of them, recalling their names from the Potions class we had at least three times a week, much to our displeasure. Even though many of us loathed Professor Snape; there was always a deeper story behind his eyes and I had longed to find out what it was. Perhaps one of these days I'd build up the courage to ask what tormented him straight to his core. He couldn't hide it very well, that was for sure. Through all his hatred, it was ever present.

As my thoughts once again flew in all sorts of directions, my fingers tangled themselves around a bright blue vial; or rather its contents was so vibrantly coloured. I had never come across anything quite like it before, even after studying multiple potion classes with the permission of our head of house. My expanded classes had me working long into the night at one point, but its subject was all too fascinating to have but a few lessons of. I twirled the vial around in my hand for a while and wracked my brain for possibilities that would suggest its use, but I could not think of anything. I didn't believe it was any form of antidote and so I chose not to pour even a tiny drop onto my skin. Going up in flames or watching my flesh being torn from my body didn't seem a good idea.

I pondered a while longer in case it came to me when I least expected it; but it didn't. I grew angry realising I couldn't work out for once what its purpose was. Stuffing the vial carelessly into my back pocket, I got to work tidying up the rest of the room. It didn't look all that inviting now I was standing in here with the knowledge of having to clear it until it was spotless. My wand would have been awfully helpful right now if it weren't for Molly disabling them all and suggesting we use our hands instead. Maybe it was a good idea to take our minds of things, even if it was proving difficult.

I'd spent over two hours clearing up clothes from endless piles on the floor and had even stopped once or twice to revel in the smell of his shirts. His scent lingered still, ever so strongly on his forgotten clothes. I caught myself smiling in the mirror across the room and frowned when I noticed what I was actually doing. This was not going to help and it certainly wouldn't make it more bearable. Still, the smell of him was so enticing that I couldn't bring myself to put away every last shirt. I hoped no one would notice my attire later this evening when they spotted me wearing an unbuttoned, striped black shirt over my tank top. If it looked at all suspicious, I could always make up the horrid lie that I was simply cold and needed to warm up. I knew deep down everyone would eye me as though I had gone mad, but at the moment it didn't cross my mind enough to prevent me from wearing the shirt. A bond grew between it and myself the longer I wore it.

"Lottie dear, are you almost done with that room?" called Molly, pushing open the door and walking in a few feet.

She stopped abruptly upon noticing the shirt I had thrown over my own and frowned slightly. I chose to avoid her piercing glare and continued my job of clearing the rest of the room; all that was left to sort now were a few books here and there. It would take no time at all to place them neatly and in order on the shelves beside the mirror.

"I will be done in a few minutes Molly" I spoke, finally turning my attention toward her and forcing a small smile.

It was unexpected, but she smiled back and a gleam seemed to shine in her eyes as she stared at the shirt I wore before heading out of the room. Once alone, I released a huge sigh of relief, thankful that she hadn't said anything inappropriate. If Molly had worked out the real reason behind my need to wear the shirt, Hermione and the boys would find out sooner rather than later and be filled to the brim with all kinds of weird thoughts. It was not like that at all, though for years I secretly wished it could have been. If only I had not been too young for him when we met all those years ago. I could always tell by the look in his eyes that he believed me and Hermione had grown into beautiful young women who would one day make any man incredibly happy. Smiling at the memory, I picked up the last book off the dusty floor and smoothed down its cover to glance at its title. My eyes opened wide in shock; I was holding the journal of Sirius Black.

At first I did not know how to react and stood staring blankly at it for a few minutes until a jolt forced me to open it. Upon inspecting the first page, in the neatest handwriting I had ever seen, it read as follows…

_My name is Sirius Black. I am a pureblood wizard at Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry. My family loathe me, especially my wicked mother. I have threatened countless times to run away from home; never to return. She did not seem to care in the slightest and my father did not condone such behaviour. Punishment occurred twice weekly for disobedience and inappropriate suggestive language. Both of which were a huge part of my personality; it was completely unavoidable. Through the pages of this book if I should one day unexpectedly perish, you will learn a great deal about my past and the man that it turned me into today. Pleasant reading to whomever has found me._

I realised instantly that I'd been reading aloud and had not even stopped to take a breath before I had reached the last word. It intrigued me greatly. Not having known anything at all about Sirius' childhood; to find a book with endless detailed information about it was one of many treasures. I skimmed through every page for a good half hour until I landed on one in particular. It captured my attention through its complicated use of phrasing and immediately I tried to work it out and turn it into its simplest form. After what felt like a lifetime of struggling to rewrite it on a blank piece of paper word for word, I stared down at the paper and gasped in horror. It was but the ingredients for the chemical substance I had pocketed earlier. By the sound of the ingredients he had used to create this potion, it didn't sound all too friendly. Turning the page over in desperation to find further answers to my on going questions, I was stunned once again. Only this time, my eyes lit up in wonder. A smile took over my lips; this could bring him back.

I wanted to waste no more time over my discovery and deftly, I recovered an old wand of Sirius' and swished it twice, watching the sparks fly and the room dust itself clean. Smiling in satisfaction, I made my way quickly out of the room and down the stairs of Grimmauld Place. I had to call back once to respond to Molly's outburst at me flying down the stairs and out the door. She worried a little more than was needed all of the time, even more so lately with everything that had happened. Sadness filled my veins at the thought of this potion not working correctly; god knows how long he had kept it piled among all that mess in his room. However, it would be our only hope of him returning to us. The look on Harry's face at seeing his godfather; the last family member he'd had a chance of spending time with, was more than worth any risks.

Almost as soon as I turned the corner, I spotted the portkey just across the road from where I stood and quickly crossed. It was a nightmare trying to cross such busy streets, but in the name of saving Sirius Black and needing to do so with haste, I kept my focus on what mattered. The moment my hand touched the lamppost ahead of me, my body went flying through doors and landed at the feet of Minister Scrimgeour. I cursed inwardly for arriving so foolishly, but after straightening myself out he looked a little less irritated by my presence.

"Minister, I have come to study the veil. There is an exam coming up over the next few months and it is absolutely vital that I collect the information necessary" I spoke bravely, hoping he would believe my tall tale and let me pass through to the Death Chamber.

"Miss. Rosmerta, I do not doubt for a moment that you are highly aware of its dangers, but I must warn you; any foul play emanating from that chamber will be seen to immediately. Mark my words young lady, do not attempt to entice my anger" he said, staring me down as though to frighten me away.

"I understand Sir, please, it is only for a Dark Arts exam and nothing more" I finished, averting my eyes from his as he continued to stare me down.

"Very well then, but you have been warned" he added, walking away and leaving me in the middle of the Ministry Of Magic's great hall.

I felt somewhat uncomfortable in my chosen attire, but I had no time to be worrying over how I looked right now. My thoughts remained on Sirius, the Veil and getting him back somehow. I only hoped the ingredients and the vibrant blue liquid in this vial could help me with that task. It was going to be extremely difficult, not knowing what would happen or how I was supposed to connect it to his soul beyond that rippling curtain. If only I had Hermione with me; she would know what to do. But I couldn't dwell on knowing I wasn't built intelligently enough to succeed in such a task alone, I had to get him back to Harry. With determination like lightning shining through my angered eyes, I barged through the doors of the Death Chamber and stopped in my tracks.

Debating a while within myself over whether or not this was a good idea had me overwhelmed with grief. The need to save Sirius was slowly creeping above the need to survive and I reached for the potion in my back pocket.

With the gleaming liquid staring straight at me as I looked down at my hand, my actions were fast paced and I gulped it down; not knowing what would happen to me. I hadn't stopped to consider the possibility that it might be nothing but poison and I would be dead momentarily, but it didn't happen. Rather, I felt an enormous sting, almost as though my skin was being ripped from my body and screamed as loud as my voice would let me. No one would hear me in here, the walls had been so solidly built that even the sound of explosions going off left and right would go unnoticed by the Ministry. My eyes rolled into the back of my head as I twisted and turned on the cold floor.

_Lottie, are you there?_ Another familiar voice called out my name, pleadingly. I knew again who it was and my screams turned to sobs. How did he know I was here; was it possible the potion was beginning to take effect already. I did not know the answers to my questions, but I hoped sooner or later I would find out. The torture continued as I curled into all kinds of positions on the floor, merely a foot away from the Veil and gasped in pain every once in a while.

The voice calling out my name grew louder and I knew something was either very wrong, or something wonderful was about to happen. As I became lost in my own thoughts once again, I felt the weight of another person laying on me. Startled and a little out of it, I tried to open my eyes in order to figure out who or what was crushing me into the ground. That was when I passed out in astonishment. It was Sirius, he was alive.

"Lottie, where am I?" asked a voice, slipping through the lips of the body that hung over me as though it were sound asleep.

"Sirius!" I choked, trying to speak through my tears as I had managed to bring him back successfully, without being killed myself.

His eyes opened in time with my own and I beamed up at him, but his eyes seemed so lost and afraid. It was difficult to concentrate; so I turned my eyes away from his face and checked him over fully to be sure nothing was missing. Sure enough, he was all in one piece and staring at me blankly through his grey eyes. It upset me quite a bit. Sirius had never been the kind of person to look down in the dumps, no matter what he was going through at the time. He had always held a gentle smile upon his face that seemed to reach his eyes every time. But now, there wasn't even a hint of glee in his features. I regretfully decided that he was still dead, at least in spirit, as his body was very much alive.

With a great amount of effort, as I could not get him to respond very well to my questions or suggestions, I managed to push his body gently off me. As he lay on the floor beside me, I took my time in examining the whole situation. I paced back and forth through the small space between where he lay and the Veil itself. Wonder filled my mind again and I considered the idea that he was actually back as himself, not as something far more dangerous and deceitful as one would imagine to come out of something as such. I stared at his now sleeping form for a while. He looked so peaceful and at home, though we were far from his home and in the worst place he could be right now. It was no longer safe for me either. I spotted a protruding rock against one of the uneven walls of the Chamber and pulled Sirius' limp body toward me as I placed my hand on the rock. Instantly, we were back at Grimmauld Place. But he was still sleeping soundly as though nothing out of the ordinary had happened. It made me frown a little.

"Sirius, wake up" I cooed gently, sitting on the bed beside him after a few minutes of struggling to get him onto it.

He stirred slightly in his sleep, but made no attempt to open his eyes. As I looked toward the small window in the far corner of the room, I noticed how dark it was outside. I did not leave the house so late, so I could not work that one out; it frightened me. What if we were not actually at Grimmauld Place; what if we were in an imaginary world. Anything was open for suggestion at the moment. Nothing felt in place at all and I panicked. Still, I could not lose control now that I had him back in the world of the living. The sooner I woke him up, the sooner he could see Harry. Speaking of Harry, I had better go find him and tell him the news; he will be absolutely delighted.

I tiptoed quietly over to the door and just as my hand reached out to turn the handle, a low groan escaped Sirius' lips. My body turned immediately to be sure he was alright, and he was. Only, his groaning had grown louder as he lay still on his back, undisturbed by anything. I looked entirely puzzled at the scene before me. If he was perfectly fine and I could see no form of discomfort written anywhere on his handsome face, what could possibly be causing him to groan like that.

"Lottie.." he groaned, calling me to him and reaching out one of his hands.

I felt a great amount of love toward him in that moment as I sat beside his body on the bed. His outstretched hand enclosed around my waist and pulled me close against his chest. My mouth sat open slightly in shock, but his warm body pressed against mine soon calmed my nerves when I realised he obviously knew what he was doing. I couldn't believe for a second that if he didn't know, he would ever actually do such a thing. My knowledge of the situation expanded when I tried to wake him from his heavy slumber, only to receive another groan. This time however, it wasn't out of pain.

It had been over an hour since he had pulled me into bed beside him and already I was feeling my hidden feelings starting to sprout all over again. I could not allow them to be uncovered, at least not just yet. The only person Sirius would see upon waking would be the face of his beloved godson. I wanted in no way to stand between Harry and his only family; it would be a beautiful moment to bear witness.

When I felt that he was calm enough and content in his sleep, I moved carefully from his arms and left the room. I hadn't heard him groan in protest this time, so I knew it was safe to leave him alone a while.

Harry stared at me as though I had just told him the most amusing joke of the century; his face showed clear signs of hidden laughter. Though, through his eyes I could see the hurt that came along with such a statement. I had not meant to upset him, but he needed to know all that I had done and what I had achieved through doing it. It took me a long while to get him to remain calm and free from jumping around like a psychotic monkey, but it worked eventually. He beamed at me, asking to see his godfather. The second he asked to see him I knew it would be difficult as Sirius was most likely still sound asleep in his room. Either way, no harm would come through Harry taking a little stroll to have a look and see for himself. Just to be certain I was not pulling his leg. I understood the need for confirmation and so I was not offended by him asking to have proof. I chose to take him to Sirius myself, just in case anything happened that needed an explanation. Being the clever little witch I was, I would figure out any problems remedy.

As we entered the bedroom, surely enough, Sirius remained sound asleep; just as he had been when I had left him under half an hour ago. He stirred a little in his sleep and Harry's eyes lit up, but he didn't wake. Instead, he rolled over onto his side so he was now facing us. I sat on a chair at the far corner of the room and gave Harry a moment with Sirius alone, realising it wasn't enough privacy almost instantly. Nodding and sending a kind smile his way, I left the room and left him alone with his godfather.

I sat right outside, leaning back against the door in case anything untoward occurred and I was needed for whatever reason. Everyone that had occupied the house last night was either out running important errands or had transported over to the Weasley's instead. I had wanted to stay in the House Of Black, as much as it tormented me during the night. I stood from the floor and decided to take a look around at the work everyone had been doing during the day. Every room was spotless. Even the wallpaper that covered the walls in the hallway had been scrubbed dramatically; the paper was almost worn down. I laughed to myself at the image of Molly and Ginny attacking the walls with a big soapy sponge and a bucket of bubbly water.

On my way down the stairs, I came across an open door that led to the Blacks family tree and another memory entered my head. It played in my mind as though it were happening in front of me right at this moment. It was a sad memory; Sirius had promised Harry that when the battle between good and evil was over, they would be a proper family. A tear slid down my cheek as my hand caressed the spot on the wall where Sirius' picture once sat on their hand painted family tree. Using what I had learnt from reading a few pages of his journal earlier today, I realised his family must have removed his face and name as their way of disowning him for whatever he had done they disapproved of.

"Lottie, come quickly!" shouted Harry from the bedroom.

I ran as fast as my feet would carry me, not stopping once even though I nearly toppled and landed face first on the floor. Once I reached the room, Harry told me that Sirius had been having a fit on the bed and had even torn the sheets in his struggle. Only, he mentioned that as he heard me racing through the house to attend to his call, Sirius stopped shaking violently and calmed the nearer I got to the bedroom door. It wasn't until I opened it, he said, that Sirius relaxed completely once again.

His theory startled me somewhat. Could it be that unless I am around him for the rest of my life, he would otherwise be dependent on the need to be with me and most likely die if it became impossible. I banished the crazy thoughts as soon as they entered my head to rid myself of stupidity. That could not be it, there had to be something more to it than that. Then again, I had not read through any kind of instructions before taking the potion with me to the Department Of Mysteries. It could have contained chemicals even I was unaware existed; chemicals that did more than perform a little magic spell. There were potions and charms all over the board; spells that wore off after a little while, spells that lasted a little longer, and spells that were near fatal and did not wear off at all. There was a great possibility that the ingredients in the vial I drank from, the vial I found in Sirius room, had been but an experiment to achieve something everyone wished they had. As I stood pondering the situation repeatedly in my head, racking my brain for answers to every question it asked, I felt helpless. I had not expected it to go so pear shaped.

I walked closer to the bed where Harry sat beside Sirius and inspected him with my eyes; turning to my hands after receiving no response from him. It seemed Harry had tried with great difficulty to get his godfather to wake up, but Sirius wasn't having any of it. As I sat down carefully beside his sleeping form, his scent filled the air around me and I couldn't help but smile. I had remembered his smell from a very long time ago; not to mention memorising it during the endless hugs he seemed to give everyone. If anyone were older than Harry and his friends, he would not dream of getting so close. There was a kindness to Sirius that no adult knew of, only those he trusted. Being framed all those years ago by the evil little Peter had made him an outcast to others, even more so than he had been toward his own family. They had rejected him without even thinking twice about the consequences of their actions.

I noticed as my hand brushed across Sirius' forehead that he leaned toward me, reaching out to grab a hold of my hand that lay softly against his skin. Turning to Harry, I could see the pain in his eyes at the sight of his godfather looking worse than death. My heart sunk at the look in his eyes when they met mine. I tried my best to give him a knowing glance and he turned away again, keeping a watchful eye over Sirius as I stood to leave them alone again. I took one last look at his sleeping form and noticed how content he looked after my hand caressing his face lightly. It bothered me a little, not knowing why he only reacted in such a way to me and not Harry. I would have thought with Harry being his only family and with the bond they had developed before his passing being immensely strong, it would be him to whom he responded.

Giving Harry a light squeeze on his shoulder, I told him I would be just across the hall if he needed me, and left. On my way to the room Hermione had been staying in, I continued to rack my brains for answers, but none came fast enough. It simply wasn't right. Why did Sirius respond only to my touch, and why upon touching him did he calm almost instantly as though I were medicine to treat a disease.

_Little Lottie, why must you leave my side…_

His voice once again invaded my mind but I tried desperately to shut it out. Harry would be the one to tend to Sirius' needs if further problems arose. I did not like the idea of needing to be close by every moment of every day for the rest of my life. It was unsettling. Though, my feelings toward him would have kept me happy enough to remain nearby, I doubt he would truly appreciate the goings on once he had woken from his needy splendour. I called it that because it wasn't half bad; if only he was aware he was doing it. I made a mental note to talk to him in the morning, as he was sure to be wide awake and back to his old self by then. If not, something would have to be done to cure whatever mess I had gotten us both into. Or I would be forced to spend the rest of my life by his side and near enough to actually be in full contact. Thousands of images entered my head all at once, confusing me a little. I knew straight away what they were however, but they would never see the light of day. I knew Sirius too well, we all did. He was not the kind of man to take vows and be faithful to only one woman for the rest of his days. He would admit it in a heartbeat too.

Through the night, everything seemed pretty normal. There had been no moans and groans from his room as I had expected. Perhaps it was nothing after all and the need to be near me had vanished come morning light, which in a way upset me, but I understood it was for the best. I would have liked running to his beck and call, but it wasn't meant to be.

I awoke with a start, feeling the familiar heat of someone's body pressed up against mine. My eyes shot open in surprise, and beside me lay a sleeping Sirius. To say I was shocked to my core would be an understatement, for it was so much more than that. I also began to wonder how on earth in his state, he had managed to reach this room without landing on his behind along the way. It baffled me. But reality dawned on me again and I realised Sirius, was in bed with me. This would have looked so bad had Harry walked in to check on me during the night, not to mention wake me from my sleep over panicking because Sirius was nowhere to be found. I groaned loudly, hoping he hadn't heard me. Our current situation was even more awkward than when me and Harry realised he responded only to my touch. Even though I would never admit this to anyone, especially not Harry; I rather liked the feel of him being so close to me. It made me feel warm inside, complete almost. It felt as though my other half was right beside me and nothing could go wrong in this horrible world we live in. If only it were as simple as that.

"Sirius" I called gently, shaking him a little to get him to remove his arm from around me.

Being pinned on my back, on a bed, by Sirius Black's arm was not what I'd had in mind when I had chosen to risk everything in order to bring him back. A slight tingle could be felt between my legs, but I shook it off knowing it would cause more trouble. I tried to do the same with his arm as it lay over my midsection, but he was much too strong. Every time I tried to lift his arm, he only held it down forcefully. It was obvious he was now awake, but I couldn't tell for sure. I debated a while over whether or not I should call Harry, before realising it would be the only way in which I could be freed from this death grip he had on me.

"Harry!" I shouted, hoping both that I would not wake Sirius and that Harry would actually hear me calling his name.

Within minutes he swung the door open with a frantic look on his face. As soon as his eyes rested on Sirius he gave me the most horrid glare you could imagine. I had known of his reaction before he barged through the door, but I had to explain that I was more than innocent in this little incident. Or rather, large incident as by no means was it something easily forgotten.

"Harry, before you even assume the worst thing that came to your head when you walked in, let me explain the best way I can" I begged, hoping he wanted to listen to my story.

He did, thankfully. After closing the door behind him and taking a seat on an empty chair across the room, he leaned forward and waited for my explanation. It would be difficult under the circumstances given the annoying tingle that wouldn't leave me alone. I pushed through it anyway. After a good fifteen minutes or so of trying to get him to understand it was Sirius who had pulled himself into bed next to me, his face softened. Noticing my discomfort, he walked over to Sirius' side of the bed and pulled his arm up off of me, giving me the freedom to move. I did so immediately. I was more than happy to be out of my previous position when I noticed Hermione and Ron walk through the door. Though I tried to cover my blush from having slept with Sirius most of the night, Hermione noticed. I had expected her to pull me to one side to discuss every last detail, but she simply stared at me in awe. The looks on their faces donned amazement and it was obvious before Ron opened his mouth, what he was about to ask.

I told Harry to keep watch over his godfather whilst I explained things to Ron and Hermione, who were now getting a hold of themselves. Grabbing both their arms and pulling them out of the room and back into Sirius' room, I told them the entire ordeal. Ron beamed at me and pulled me into the tightest hug I had ever experienced in my life, whereas Hermione stood motionless and clearly doubtful. It would take a lot longer to reassure her that everything was in good shape, but something had felt a little out of place since I had brought him back to this world. Something I couldn't put my finger on. Perhaps I would ask for her help in solving what the problem was.

"Hermione, there is most likely a minor complication with all that has happened. I am uncertain of what it is, but I was wondering if you could maybe help me solve it" I asked, looking into her eyes pleadingly.

She sighed heavily and said "Of course I can help you, but you have to promise me one thing. No matter what it is, now that you have brought him back to Harry, you cannot go back".

I merely nodded in response. I knew what I had done and that if any trouble rose up that proved impossible to shield, it would have to be faced head on. There was nothing standing in my way from keeping Sirius alive this time. I would end my own life if I believed it meant Harry would have Sirius beside him forever and I rarely risked my life for anything or anyone. Glancing over at Hermione and Ron, I noticed they were both too close for comfort and I almost opened my mouth to comment; that was when I saw them holding one another's hand. I smiled at the sight, it had been too long in waiting for the pair of them to get together, so I wasn't about to ruin the moment. It seemed it was more than natural to them, so I left them be. Pulling them both into a hug at the same time, I thanked them for understanding and headed out of the room.

Just before I shut the door behind me to give them privacy, I told them I would get started on dinner. The horror on their faces amused me, but I feigned sadness anyway. They giggled and with a wave of their hands, I was out of the room and down the stairs in a flash. My cooking wasn't all that wonderful so the uneasy expressions on their faces had not been wrong. But I would try my best to impress given the new company we have this evening.

As I was in the middle of slicing a potato, Harry walked through the door and informed me that he was going to Hogsmeade with Ron and Hermione for a few bits and pieces. I nodded and turned toward them as they apparated through the floo and out of sight. It took a moment for me to realise Sirius must still be sleeping, and alright at that. Harry had not mentioned him at all as they were leaving. I listened closely, but couldn't hear any sounds of discomfort so believed he would be alright until I had prepared dinner. A few sliced potatoes later and the mash was ready to be made. I grabbed the masher from the nearest drawer and with all my strength, I pressed down hard on the solid spuds. Whilst I continued to flatten the now lumpy potatoes, two arms wrapped themselves around my waist. I froze, not knowing who it was. I had an inkling of course. I decided to test that theory.

"Sirius, what are you doing?" I asked, managing to unwrap his arms from around me.

I turned my body around fully so that I was facing him; staring into his eyes with so many questions you wouldn't believe it. As I stood there looking up at him, I noticed the burning passion behind his eyes and became a little frightened. This was surely not the Sirius we all knew and loved, and it was more than a little worrying. In all honesty, I felt more afraid for him than myself. If anyone were to hear of the things that had happened over the last two days, they would surely come to lock him up. His body moved nearer to mine as I was once again lost in thought. Upon instinct I raised my hands to his chest and pushed him back feeling more than little awkward at the whole situation. Had the others returned right now, it would be very difficult to explain Sirius' sudden lust toward me. Deep down I loved it, but knew it wasn't right.

"Lottie, I think we need to talk" he said, not tearing his eyes away from me for a second.

Until he walked out of the kitchen and into the main room, waiting for me to follow. I had thought about rushing up the stairs and locking myself in one of the rooms, but knew straight away that he would try to break the door down. Sirius was not the kind of man to let things slide so easily. I had learnt that much over a year ago after failing to confess a secret. I had taken a bottle of his precious fire whiskey for a night of celebration and had not asked him first. I should have known he would allow it anyway, but my sneaky nature suggested I would be better off collecting the bottle myself. It is true that we always learn the hard way in life. Perhaps if we did not, who knows how many times we would repeat the same mistake.

"I am not entirely sure what is going on with you Sirius, but thus far it's come to my attention that it isn't anything appropriate and it must be stopped" I said, refusing to sit beside him on the sofa.

"I am just as oblivious as you are darlin', but we can't keep this under wraps too long. The truth is going to slip out eventually no matter how hard we try to hide it" he added the moment I'd stopped speaking.

I tensed at the thought of having to go through with it until we found a reason to suggest we did not have to, as at the moment, it seemed more than just a dire need for him to touch me or vice versa. Standing still for so long had my legs feeling horribly stiff, but I did not want to take a seat near him now. In case he acted on impulse and put us both in an unfortunate position, one we would certainly be unable to explain; I chose to keep a fair distance. Until he gripped the back of my corset and pulled me down beside him. I didn't know quite how to respond to his action, but so far it seemed harmless. I went along with it and within minutes we were talking endlessly about everything that had happened since his passing. It felt awkward telling him about my lacking love life, but he had asked. Sirius had always been a father figure to each of Harry's friends, him included. It appeared that after returning from Azkaban and clearing his name, he felt an undying need to protect those he loved most. His best friend's son would be the first to watch over. He had spoken of his plans to us all one day during a meeting here at his house. Sirius wanted everything to be perfect and just as it was in the old days when James and Lily were still alive. He spoke of changing things for the better and even invited Harry to live with him at one point.

A stray tear slipped down my cheek at the thought of him fathering Harry, only to be snatched away from him before he had the chance. It was an awfully depressing day for us all, but Harry received the brunt of it, losing such a man to his cousin after being thrown backwards to his death. I recalled that very day as I sat beside Sirius, who was now watching me intently as my face twisted horribly in remembrance. We had all been in the Death Chamber, surrounding the Veil as we fought against the devilish Death Eaters in a battle to protect what was then incredibly important; a prophecy deciding whom would face Lord Voldemort in the final showdown between good and evil.

I turned my head to look at him when his hand lay gently over mine. I tried to smile, but it was in vain. His death had caused a little part of myself to die right along with him. Though we had him back now, I did not think that part of myself would be returned to its owner. I had not fought against it leaving my body once, for I didn't believe I would ever be whole again without him around. These thoughts had been my own for so long, not even Hermione knew of them and that was saying something. I often failed to keep anything hidden for very long, but that was one thing I could never own up to. If Harry, Ron or Hermione knew I had willingly sacrificed a part of myself after taking in the events before and after his death, life would be awkward so long as I was around them. As his hand remained over mine, giving it a light squeeze every so often, I snapped my head in his direction immediately when his hand trailed up my arm. His fingers brushed lightly against my skin on their journey, before resting on my face. Without putting much thought into what I was doing, I leaned into his hand and closed my eyes over. In that moment, I felt absolute bliss. Nothing could have ruined it had Harry, Ron and Hermione not burst through the floo as he kept caressing my cheek with his hand. I had not heard them enter, but it seemed Sirius had as he quickly retracted his hand and I felt the cold sting of nothing where his hand had once been.

I was about to complain before I opened my eyes. Stood in front of us and tapping her foot accusingly, Hermione pulled me to my feet and dragged me into the kitchen. I could hear Harry on my way talking to Sirius and asking him what he was playing at. I didn't get to hear his response. Hermione slammed the kitchen door shut and turned on me fiercely. I hadn't expected her to get so worked up over anything, but I could see her reasons this time. What had happened was definitely uncalled for. But, they had not known the state I was in seconds before he had tried to comfort me. It had been successful. Though when other people entered the room, my mood swung right back down to zero all over again and my heart sank right along with it. I looked at Hermione with sad eyes and she guessed something was wrong. I had prepared myself for hours of frustrated yelling and ridicule, but when she pulled me into a hug and held me there a good few minutes, I knew all was forgiven.

The muffled sounds from the main room filled my ears again and I pulled away from Hermione's crushing embrace. I gave her a look of panic and she nodded her head. As we walked out of the kitchen, silence surrounded us all. Not one of us would look at each other. I sighed heavily in annoyance and took a seat beside Sirius, shocking the boys and Sirius himself for that matter.

"Guys, there is something strange going on and neither of us are sure what it is. But, for the time being, we'd appreciate reactions like that being held back" I said bravely, daring to look up at the three of them, though Hermione understood already.

Harry and Ron exchanged worried glances, but both came to the conclusion that going along with it was only necessary; at least until we found out a way to stop it. It was quite uncomfortable knowing three of my friends had spotted me leaning lovingly into Sirius' hand as it lay upon my cheek. I only wished I knew what the underlying cause was so it could be halted before it grew worse. All I knew was that Sirius was alive and well, though a little more randy in his new state of being. Losing him again and watching Harry run through the same horrors he had the first time he lost his godfather was not going to happen; I wouldn't allow it. Not after coming this far already and realising he was for the most part back to his old self. The new personality traits I could deal with, as could the others, but losing him to death again was not an option and I refused to put Harry through it all over again due to my insecurities and cowardliness.

"So, what are we having for dinner?" Harry piped up, turning his attention to me.

I had not noticed we had been sitting in each others company awkwardly for so long. I quickly raced back into the kitchen to check our meal. Upon opening up the oven, smoke rose to the ceiling immediately and had me coughing drastically whilst trying to feel for the tray of mashed potatoes I had so carefully prepared over an hour ago. I grabbed it with an oven glove wrapped ridiculously around my hand and pulled it free from the disaster; hoping with every ounce of pride in me that it wasn't too badly burnt.

Prodding the mash with a fork, despite its deep brown colour on top, I hoped it was still edible. I shook with anger and sorrow when I realised it was rock solid. To anyone standing behind me it might have looked as though I was laughing silently to myself, the way my shoulders moved and I wiped at my eyes like a child without a lollipop. Reacting in such a way over failing to cook a nice meal for everyone didn't seem right, but my pride had been burnt along with the mash; there was no way I could cook the mince now if it had nothing to be served with. As I dumped the entire tray of rock hard mash into the bin across the kitchen, its door opened and in stepped a worried looking Sirius. I tried to hide the tears rolling down my face but he saw them too soon. He stood behind me as I continued to spoon out the mash, careful not to release the tray in the process given my shaking hands making it all the more difficult to do. Sirius brought his lips to my ear and whispered softly into it, holding the tops of my arms steady.

"I knew you were crying Lottie, this is more than just a surge of fatherly love" he cooed, running his hands up and down my arms soothingly.

I had known already that his sudden need to be with me was more than his caring nature, but even if it was something far advanced, it had to come to an end. As much as I might have wished it would go on forever so I could one day be with the man I secretly loved, still, it wasn't probable.

"Sirius, thank you for trying to comfort me, but being so close is only making me shake even more" I admitted, pulling free from his arms and walking over to the sink.

Turning on the water, I held my breath in my throat as I felt him near me again. Only this time, I felt more than his warm body close to mine and it frightened me. How could such a spell bring him back wanting to mount me as a horse would its mate; I couldn't answer it. I didn't want to answer it. I feared the answer far too much to even consider the outcome that seemed to linger in the back of my confused mind. The more he refused to be apart from me so we could adapt better to being separated, the more I urged him silently to touch me. His hands on my skin were like the warm glow of the sun against a flowers delicate petals; it felt completely natural and above anything I had ever felt before. I knew deep down that it was something new, something formed upon his return from beyond the Veil. I knew this because all those years ago, even the hours leading up to his death when he had hugged everyone, I hadn't felt anything. At least, I had not felt anything quite like this; almost like a bolt of lightning coursing through his hands and straight into my veins. It was shocking, but pleasant all the same.

"Sirius" I began, only to be interrupted by his soft lips on my neck.

I tried to pull away once again, but he didn't allow it. His hands rested on the counter so I could not escape him. I sighed quietly. His scent drove me crazy as he stood so close, his tongue drawing small circles on the fragile skin. At any moment, Hermione, Harry or Ron could walk in to bear witness again and I wished to prevent it at all costs. Explaining myself all over again knocked my mood sideways.

"I even know what you're thinking" he whispered in my ear before taking a step back.

Gasping in horror and turning my full attention to him, I gave him a long stare. I didn't quite believe what he just told me, but the smirk growing on his face was all the proof I needed. My look of horror turned into a small smile at the thought of him being able to read my mind. I wondered if I could use that to my advantage or it would backfire horribly. Either way, it could prove useful in the near future.

"Sirius, whilst it seems there is more than one thing connecting us at the moment, I don't think it would be wise to take advantage of it all. I would much rather spend my time researching possible cures for whatever it is we have gotten ourselves into" I said, pacing from one side of the kitchen to the other.

"Excuse me, whatever 'we' have gotten ourselves into? It didn't slip my mind young lady, you were the one who brought me back, if you remember" he replied with sarcasm dripping from his words.

The fact that he now appeared upset with me struck a nerve; turning on my heel as I paced in front of him, he received a harsh slap. The sound echoed off the walls, though it was barely even hard. Within minutes, Harry barged through the door and demanded to know what had happened. Of course, he was protecting me and thought Sirius and his bad boy reputation had raised his hand to me. I jumped in immediately before he could bad mouth his godfather further and explained I had lashed out over a silly comment. Harry's eyes softened as he looked at his godfather and burned when he looked back at me. What I had done was so unlike me and he knew it. But, I could not decipher a reason as to why I reacted so abnormally to something I would usually brush off. It bothered me greatly.

Once Harry left us alone in the kitchen again, it was not difficult to tell that Sirius would love nothing more than to scream profanities at me for what I'd done; but he held back. I could see that he had suffered in his attempts to remain silent. In a way it was almost thrilling that I'd had the last laugh for once, but those thoughts were so self-centred. As we stood awkwardly opposite one another for what felt like hours, I wanted so badly to apologise for turning his cheek red, but couldn't find the words. He had asked for it in a way, yet my methods were nothing short of sly and impractical.

"Sirius I..." I began, not knowing quite how to finish.

He closed in on me instantly, not hesitating once to wrap me in his warm embrace. I melted then and there, knowing yet again that I had been forgiven for something even I did not know the reasons for. This time, I built up enough courage to wrap my own arms around his waist as he pulled me closer. Our hearts were beating in rhythm and I couldn't help but smile at the small detail. We were more alike now than ever. It was comforting in a way; knowing that he and I had such similar traits. But as with everything wonderful there comes a wave of negatives. I had not been prepared for such a thing to happen. All I had wanted was for Sirius to return in a healthy enough state so that Harry would no longer be miserable. Also, that I might have a chance with him in the future. This wasn't what I'd planned, but for now it would have to do. His need to be so close to me would make it enjoyable for the time being. Though I dreaded the day it would all come to an end and we would have to resort back to our old selves.

I lifted my head slightly to meet his eyes as he clung to me, fearful of letting go. He stared down at me, but not with any type of glare, nor any hint of sadness. In his eyes I found only pure happiness; a love of life and the ones he had in it. This in turn made me smile, it was contagious. He leaned his head lower as though to capture my lips with his and I was surprised when he didn't. Instead, he whispered against them in such a seductive voice that I felt my knees give way beneath me. It was a good job he was holding me up otherwise I'd have been a puddle on the floor by now.

"Little Lottie, I have so much to thank you for, but I don't know how" he breathed.

The slight touch of his lips against mine made me shudder as I caught every last word. My eyes rested on his mouth as he whispered in case I missed anything. He was confessing to something he did not quite understand. In the years I had known him, I had worked out that much. Sirius Black was never one to admit certain thoughts or feelings, especially when he misunderstood them. I suppose that could be true of anyone, but dragging the truth out of him was like trying to pour blood from a pebble; impossible. Delight shone through my eyes as they moved up to his and I knew straight away what I was in for. There was nothing more delicate and nothing more beautiful in thanks than making love. Through his soul as I stared deep into his eyes, I could see that is what he wanted. But accepting such an offer without being asked directly was not how I played the game, if anyone would dare call it such a thing.

Sirius giggled slightly and my attention was on him again. I was puzzled for a few moments until I remembered he could now hear what I was thinking. A bright blush spread across my face like a tidal wave and I buried my face in his chest. He continued to laugh at my unfortunate behaviour and ran his fingers soothingly through my deep brown locks. It felt as though we had been married all our lives. If only that much were true. Perhaps if I had been born fifteen years earlier, we might have had a chance. I shook my head of its silly thoughts and recalled the fact that all of this was magic. It would eventually be erased from his head and he wouldn't approach me in the same way ever again. Tears built up in my eyes as I thought long and hard about the consequences of finding a cure; he noticed. He also looked at me with determination and though he spoke not a single word, I realised he was trying to tell me something with his gaze. It held longing and sincerity, but still I knew not whether it was his own heart or the spell cast upon him. I wanted to believe what he was currently feeling came from the bottom of his wizarding heart, but nothing could prove to me it was. I could only believe for the moment that it was a little bit of magic; and with the drop of a hat it would vanish before my very eyes.

"I don't understand the nature of my new feelings for you Lottie, but I do know I would not regret a single thing by the time I am back to normal" he spoke reassuringly, releasing me from his arms.

"It's so much more complex than that Sirius. I thought you would understand that much" I said as I walked out of the kitchen and left him to his thoughts.

As I walked through the main room and up the stairs, I received sympathetic looks from both Ron and Hermione. Harry looked rather baffled by everything that was going on and did not know whether to laugh or cry at the situation. I couldn't blame him, for even I was at war with myself over what to do. Upon reaching the room Hermione had offered me after returning to Grimmauld Place to visit Sirius with Harry, I pushed open the door carelessly and slammed it shut behind me. Cringing at the loud sound; I had not meant for it to shake the wood so badly that its handle almost dropped off. Sirius needed time to adjust and so did I, but in order to gain control we had to be separated.

Hours passed, although it felt like days. I lay back on the bed and stared up at the ceiling, debating what I should do with myself for the time being. My thoughts landed on Sirius and I wondered what he was up to, also considering the possibility that he may very well have adapted already; but I doubted it.

"Lottie, open the door. It's Harry, I've brought you something to eat" called a voice from outside.

Given that my current state of being was somewhat starved from failing to cook dinner properly, food delighted my stomach and it grumbled in response. I sniffed the air around the door but couldn't smell anything. I frowned and flung the door open to give Harry an earful for making me move without a good enough reason. Just as I opened my mouth to scream at him, it closed tightly and my reflexes acted fast.

Sirius stood directly before me, though outside the door. I spotted Harry looking rather sheepish behind him and groaned in annoyance. I couldn't believe they had planned it all out. Anger boiled in my blood as I glared at them both and grabbed the door ready to slam it in his face. He was much too quick and much too strong for me to win that battle. Within seconds, he gripped my upper arms and pushed me back into the room, closing the door with his foot. I growled, not meaning to and immediately felt heat rush to my cheeks as he stared at me, amused. He continued to push me back until my body hit the hard wall behind me. Even then he wouldn't stop. With all his strength he seemed to press himself against me to be sure I would not escape him as I had last time.

"Sirius, let me go" I said angrily, trying to push him away from me.

He lowered his mouth to mine and hovered for a moment "Not until you tell me you don't want it" he said, closing the gap between us and kissing me passionately.

I had planned on rejecting him and pushing him back again, but his kiss was too powerful for me to ignore and so I kissed back. When he noticed me kissing him back, he released my arms and they immediately went up and around his neck. A quiet moan escaped my lips as he continued to press his lower half between my legs, almost begging me to let him have what he wanted so badly. I made up my mind fast. My hands were pulling at his shirt as I struggled to free it from the waistband of his jeans and he smirked. Looking up into his eyes destroyed me and fireworks went off in my head. Still, I could not tell whether this was really him, or just some lucky magic that I'd conjured up in the process of saving him.

"Sirius!" I shouted, still battling with his shirt and the buttons that just didn't want to come undone.

He laughed lightly at my unfortunate situation and I growled, raising my leg until it rested between his. The look of horror on his face made me smile. It was now my turn to laugh and as I did so, he gripped my hair at the back of my head, pulled it back and bit down hard on my neck. I gasped and squealed helplessly at the pain and attacked him with my hands. There was no escape from him now, what would happen was inevitable and deep down, I knew I wanted it to.


End file.
